If, perchance, you happen to be like me and are a bit forgetful, I’m about to make you feel a whole lot better about yourself. A. Whole. Lot. Better. . . . . .I’ve forgotten some pretty big things lately. For instance . . .
Not the keys to my car, not where I parked the car, no, that’s mere child’s play. I forgot that I even had driven a car in the first place. Allow me to explain.
Just before Christmas, a friend of mine and I met for lunch at a local restaurant. We had driven separately because I had errands to run before we met. She drives a humongous truck and the idea was, we were going to go to Home Depot after lunch because we each had ordered very large Christmas presents for our husbands online and they were both ready to be picked up. Being very good wives, we ordered large, heavy items. From Home Depot. A husband’s dream. I ordered a new grill for mine and my friend ordered a power sprayer for hers. (She is actually a better wife than I as her gift was both heavier and more expensive.) After a delightful lunch, we both drove our vehicles the short distance to Home Depot. So far, so good, right? Nothing strange about this scenario.
I feel it necessary here to rat on my friend just a tad: She almost went to Lowe’s instead of Home Depot! They are across the highway from each other. I SO wish this was the end of the “Oh my aren’t we forgetful, haha” story and my friend was the one who made the big blunder. Oh no . . . it gets way better than that.
We parked our two vehicles and met inside the store at the customer service desk. Our large and quite generous gifts were retrieved and brought to the front. The grill was big but not too unwieldy, but the power sprayer was crazy heavy! There was no way Linda and I were going to manage hoisting that sucker into the back of her truck. No problem! There were plenty of brawny men to help us out. We were a little worried about how we were going to get it OUT of the truck, but hey, one thing at a time, right?
After the two items were placed onto and into the truck, Linda hopped behind the wheel and I hopped likewise into the passenger seat, and away we went! Home Depot is on a very busy highway and this was just a few days before Christmas. The traffic was insane, but we managed to work our way into the midst of it. As we sat there with all the other vehicles, proud of our accomplishment, Linda’s head snapped to the right and she said to me, “Your car!”
Oops. It’s not often I have forgotten an entire automobile, but I definitely did that day. As deftly as she managed her huge truck into the traffic, she worked her way back out and back into the parking lot. And there sat my poor, forgotten little VW bug. Windshield washer fluid-tears running down the hood.
But wait, that isn’t even as bad as it gets. That’s just the warm-up story. Just the other day, I hit a new low. This actually bothers me more than the car situation. It may not seem as big a deal to some of you, but to me, it’s huge!
One day I completely forgot to put on my make-up.
OK, now maybe some of you might not think that’s so bad. Maybe you skip make-up some days. I haven’t skipped putting on make-up a single day since the 8th grade. I don’t wear a lot of make-up, but the only places I’ll go with a bare face is any room in my house and possibly the mailbox (if I’m sure no one will walk by). I’m sure I must have applied at least a little blush before going to the hospital to have babies. I’ve even been told I don’t look any different between my “make-up” face and my “non make-up” face. It doesn’t matter. I’m still going to wear it every day.
One day last week, I was sitting in the library. I had been there a few hours and it was time to head home. I went into the ladies room on my way out, did what was necessary and then went to wash my hands. I guess I looked into the mirror for the first time all day. On first glance, I thought to myself, “Wow, my make-up really faded today.” But then I squinted and leaned closer to the mirror. To my horror, I realized that my face was as bare as the day I was born!! It was as blank as a piece of paper containing Donald Trump’s “Things I Need to Improve About Myself” list. Horrified, I made for my car and my home and my bathroom and my make-up. I mentally went through that day’s activities in my mind. Who had I showed this blank canvas to? Publix!! I’d gone to Publix! I’d even seen a woman I knew there (I don’t remember from where, though, of course . . . ) and even said a brief “Hi! How are you?” Dear God. It was a wonder she didn’t turn to stone right there near the canned vegetables! I can just hear her telling stories back at . . . . church? . . . . about that poor, unfortunate Thomas woman, really let herself go. The one good part about this day, though, was when I got ready for bed that night. I didn’t have to wash my face!
I know all this being more forgetful stuff is all a part of getting older, but it makes me a little nervous. What helps is hearing stories about what other people forgot. I love getting together with my Book Club friends, a group of ten women who are all near the same age and experiencing the same things. Our forgetful stories, though they seem awful when we actually do them, bring each other huge laughs when we share them. It makes us each feel less broken and faulty. When your friends are all becoming increasingly faulty too, it makes it easier to take.
So, I hope you feel a little better about yourself now that you’ve read how poorly I’ve been acting. I’ll leave you with a quote from Maya Angelou. She said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I hope I’ve made you feel better.